a testimony

the 2006 CCRCC youth camp we prepared had alot of hic-cups; as in it wasnt well prepared. many, including me felt it this way. there were some important items we forgot to bring, and some acutually thought it was rather unnecesserily. and no one had backup plans when we overlooked the weather those few days. nothing came out as we've planned, and though not the worst, the food sucks. but nevertheless, it still went on quite well.

many blamed the bad weather. initially i wouldve also blamed the same thing. but then again i felt that it was rather a blessing in disguise. many camps i attended were more the kind of competitive sort of camp. it couldve been more fun. but for this time, i could see that there were more bondings amongst the teams. largely because of the rain that made us stay indoors. i could see people begining to open up, as well as people begining to get wackier.

as for my group, although they lost the competition and their morale were pretty low, i could see that none of them were sulking badly. the fellowship in us were greater than being competitive. well something like that. it was great. probably because of me that i had to encourage them when they were low, that they took things positively as possible. and maybe because of our team name, EZ bin, that they took everything as easy as possible.. lol.

best of all was the seminar. its because of the two-night seminar that made me mature alot, both physically and spiritually. and im sure everyone feels the same way. and im also glad that our pastor had choosen the right theme for the camp.

because of this camp, i have never in my life expected that one day i wouldve become a great leader..

************************************

during the first night of wei liang mu shi's seminar, i wrote down some of the highlights.

- you (we) are the chosen ones
- we live in a christian environment, therefore we were made for his purpose
- we are gods child

- we are nothing but tourists of this world.
- we should always stay happy no matter the storm is, because we're his soldiers.
- its not the wolrd that impacted you; its you who impacted the world.
- therefore we are to spread the gospel.

during the second night i wrote down some of the highlights.

- the passport to heaven is through jesus
- god allows the devil to roam until jesus's second coming
- some of the greatest temptations are power & autorithy, wealth, etc
- we can lean on god for the ability to resist them. (well cant exactly remb but this shld be it)



and then there was a calling. every adult in the room prayed for us. and this is my testimonial.

we were asked to stand up if we were to fight for the lord. and so i did. i lowered my head, closed my eyes and my hand held to the bridge of my nose while the speaker sang some songs. suddenly a hand touched my head and i hear a voice praying or me.

all frist, there were goosbumbs all over me. then there was this some kind of undescripable special feeling that made me cry. it wasnt the kind of crying softly - i was really weeping loudly. i cried out all my burdens, my sorrows to the lord. in my mind i was really thinking why cant i stop crying? why is this happening to me?

and then theres this strange numbness all over me. it came from my head first, and then down to my hand and then to the rest of my body. and then i hear another voice praying for me. i wept again. this time louder than before, my body more numb than before. it was unlike anything i had expirenced before.

for the first time in 5 years, i actually cried. and for the first time of my life,i could feel the spirit was really with me. it was undesripable. i thank god for that wonderful experience.

except for that little girl in my group. boy she was kinda trumatised to see people crying, and then faint. i could understand her feelings. it was quite a frightening expirence for me too when i first saw it. and it was my mother then. but as u know lah, i couldnt embrace my arms around her and console her. all i could do is to sit next to her and try to encourage her to be brave.

********************************

later that night after that calling, i thought about her again while i was alone: she should've came. she had missed it. i feel soo sorry for her. what am i doin to do for her? how can i help her?

then, calmness grew over me. as if god has answered my questions, i kinda figured out the answers myself. i recall what the speaker said those two nights and applied it to my situation.

there is a time for everything, and everything happens for a reason. maybe because she left our church for a long interval that her spiritual maturity isnt quite with us yet. maybe because she isnt ready for the calling yet. or maybe because im not doin enough for her yet. or maybe beause of other reasons that she didnt want to come for that evening when i invited her to.

to her if she'd ever read this: rest assured, i havnt forgotten you yet. now i finally know where i stand, and now i finally know what to do, and now im a step more spiritually mature, and all that ive done and i will be doing isnt going to be easy. i will still continue stand by to help you, but please do something to help yourself, if you trully want our help. cause if you dont even wanna help yourself, then no one can help you liao.

i regretted sending back the tables. she was there. i couldve gone back with her after the carnival clean up. but aiyah, not fated lah - got other chores to do.. but really, i longed to go back with her. it hurts me to she her goin back alone. well lets jus say ive gotta special feelings for her.. hehe :P


a song by luo zhi xiang SPECSHOW album, titled hao peng you (good friends) inspired me to write this.

when i walked past a pizza hut resturant recently, something made me thought of how long ive nvr been to a pizza hut resturant. this triggered a memory of an event where i remembered a time when i actually treated her (a church friend) to pizza sometime early this year.

at that time, what i thought of was jus going out with another friend. well, ive always been out and together with the poly lvl guys in our church. its like we've been together since pri 3 onwards and our bonds were stronger now than ever. except that she left our congregation for a very long period of time. so yeah, jus wanna get to know how shes been doing. auctally we live around the same area and its like i thought her parents moved away ever since she left. anyway,its kinda hard to make herself free and come out and have fun. it seems she's forever busy with homeworks and other things. thats why many times i dare not engage conversation with her - scarly she kenna pissed off with me den dun wan talk to me sia.. okay sidetrack liao - back to story..

i could still remember it was quite a long queue at the TM pizza hut resturant that evening, and its like i dunno what things to talk about loh.. and even throughout the dinner we said nothing. all i asked was like:" hao chi mah?" , i smiled at her and she smile back at me. her smile alone rock my world if only i could gaze at her smile agn... ahhh..

after that she met up with her other friend and the boyfriend to go buy some friends for another friend of theirs. i almost wandered off until she pulled me by the shirt. prob it didnt mean anything for her, but to me it was something significant for me. a start of a relationship? after a while i went home as they continued on. and i was like wtf i didnt say much things to her and i didnt spend much time with her?


now that was something i acutally regretted. that night couldve turn out better. as in like be with her until she reach home loh. it couldve turn out to be a date, but i didnt take the chance. pherhaps i wasnt ready then. until now i still kinda regretted. aiya sianz.. damned.

after that i didnt talk to her for a few months. firstly, i was really busy then. secondly, i didnt know what to say to her after that. she mightve thought shes not my type lol. but still, aiyah.. sianz.. why did i wasted that chance? zzz...

probably because i didnt ask god about it ba? like though i desire for a relationship with her, but i didnt pray to god about it. all i did was keep quiet. but then again, from an observation from my school friends, something made me wonder: is it because of us christians, a religious barrier that we should not have BGR at such an early age, that singapore is suffering from low birth rates? (theres nth dirty mind you, unless you're thinking dirty lol)


*****************************


in my school, my original class was split up during our 2nd semester. now, i kinda like my new class already more than my 1st sem class - its much more interesting. with our 3rd term over, i itched to write this.

a friend who was in "relationship" with another schoolmate. both of the same class. she wept over a failing relationship and sought advice frm her friends. that guy's prob a jerk. to the 3rd parties, it really doesnt looked like they're together. i had to observe more carefully to know whats happening. and one time she asked for my comments about their relationship and what they could do. ive never even been in a relationship before - how could i give her advice about it? well i could lent her a listening ear, and what i could do is to tell her my observations frm around my other friends who are in relationship and also biblically (if i could lol).

but what i really wanna bring the message across is that, you're still young. there are other people you havnt met. what we could do for u is to offer you advices frm what we see what we hear and what we expirienced. to decide wheather to go on or not, you alone ultimately must decide alone.

and this reflected back onto a relationship between me and my church friend. shld i, shld i not? that is a question...

recently i felt that ive been with that school friend more often than usual. is that a sign of breakin of her relationship and a new relationship for me? okay, i frankly admit, she's quite georgeous, and shes the type of girl i liked - long hair, sweet, femine,etc. but to think a step ahead: she lives on the west side and me on the east - that alone's gonna a big problem. then i thought to myself: is it even possible even of that prob is curbed?

well, theres few reasons why i chose not to stay too close to her. firstly, i dont wanna other people mistook we are more of an item than her and her boyfriend (or such things). secondly, if she could salvage her current relationship, id be more happy for her. thirdly, i wanna stay true to my crash. we lived just near each other. if by chance we could be togehter.. thats something i could dream on.. zzzzzzzzz...

so, my schoolmate, if u happened to read this post, im terribly sorry for any misunderstandings. i just havta make clearly on where we stand currently, to think a step ahead of time, and how far our limits can go.

had been freaking busy this few weeks, and im fustrated enough to write it up here. christian's busiest days of the year is always december. and its pretty true for me. lets see, what events do i have for this december.. oh firstly, we had the carnival, and then we're gonna have christmas events and then our youth camp towards the end of december.

since sec 2 whenever my friends and i were given the task to desgin a banner or smt for the church, im always the one who bao ka liao. yeah, bring home and do, all the way to the next morning. theres even a time where i hated gwen. not personally hate. jus that the pastor choose the wrong guy to help me. what she did was minimial - pherhpas not even minimial.. until now, i daresay she really suck at design. never again will i work with her. well unless she could prove me wrong somehow, but i doubt so.. matt is better than her, for now. but shes not that really bad; i mean, she too did contributed to the church. such as? well, shes good at singing, chinese, and pretty loud, i guess. lol. that is really great, acutally (as long as she dont desgin). ;)

okay, back to the carnival. to me, money making wasnt my main piority. its the planning process that i enjoyed most. like where we get together as a group and really brainstorm for ideas - discussion and everything. but in this case, no. in my group, 4 out of 7 people were having exams at that time - As & Os. and so i didnt touch them. but what happened to the rest? 2 weeks past just like that and we didnt even meet up.
as part of the leader of the group, with no major exams, of course i had to do something. im soo tied down to homeworks, already owed lects a number of homeworks,i realyl dont have the time to realy sit down and think of an original game plan. the first thing that came to my mind was foosball, and i immediatly run around contacting the relavent people. thats how the foosball proposal came about. heh, so much time for so busy person..

on the eve of the carnival, i had school that day, it ended at 5.30om. ive reminded them upteen times beforehand, my dads transporting the tables ONLY after 7pm. i had my own resons. from 5.30pm, it took me 45 mins to get back home, and dont i have to eat dinner too? and did they heed what i said? NO. instead, they pester me when im going home. all the way to ding xuans house around 7.30pm. how many calls, how mnay smses? im already fustrated at it and my dads was angry and blamed me for not managing time well. troubled by it and being too impatient, i accidentaly scratched kai xuans face while we were loading the ping pong tables up. there was even a traffic jam at the city area. we reached St Andrews Cathedral by 8.30pm. and then we had to go all the way to Ang Mo Kio to get the foosball table. u think its easy to carry a foosball table? it weighs 4 times more than a ping pong table. we had to divide the table into 4 halfs and send it down frm the 9th story of a HBD flat and then load it up. all this took some time. we did as fast as we could, like race agaisnt time. as i had predicted earlier, we wouldve fishished transporting everything by about 10.30pm. but could they even wait? NO. they pestered me even whem we're loading the foosball tables. and my dad didnt even had his dinner yet. if u were me, dont u find it IRRITATING?

after everythings done, we (kai/ding xuan, ben, ray, me)went matts house for pullover. for my group, we had to get the banner up asap as ding xuan said. they played basketball while im working on it, modifying the idea. when they came up he told me to change my design. having studied typography and doing it for 1 hr, how would u feel if u were me? so i told him to do draw the text while i play dota to distress myself a while. 15 mins later, he completed it. now everyones going to sleep. WHAT THE HECK. i couldve criticised the words he drew were more awful than mine. i told him i'll color tat after i finish my game. but could they even wait a while? its not like im playin with human players which will really take a long long time. im playin AIs, mind you. and then they asked me to faster quit. wa lao 3am only loh. if camp they couldve stay up all night why chouldnt they do it then? afriad they cant wake up on time? excuse lah.. i stayed up all the way until 5.30am and i still woke up on time. and whos the late one? MATT -.-

and i slept like 2 hours only. as the carnival was about to start, i havnt done 3 weeks of homework yet.. (to be continued)


***************************

okay, we were late - all because of one idiot's fault. nvm that; we still got half an hour to set up our stalls. my group's suppose to be there. 4 out of 7 (from my grp) came (including me). it was ike soo last minute that we had to scrapped off our 2nd game, which was the soccer bowling thingy - the fifth and the next most impotant guy came late. we, the leaders were busy setting up stalls. the other guy jus hang around and slack. didnt even ask what he could do. its kinda like u needa do some scriptings to make it move. i wasnt anygry with him. least he helped out abit. but one of the thing that made me angry was the banner. WHY DIDNT HE PUT UP THE BANNER I SPENT 5 HOURS WORKING ON IT, UP?

AND WHERE WAS GWEN? helping out other people thorughout the carnival? jus because we came a while later, that doesnt give her the right to leave our group. for us, manpower the most crucial thing. now, we're down to 3 men, 1 stall: 2 tables, and a coupon booth. i just feel that me and ding xuan did most of the work. and she, HAVING FUN?

truthfully speaking, I DIDNT HAD ANY MUCH FUN AT ALL. all i bought was a longan jelly from the carnival. and i only spent like some 5 mins interval walking around talking to nearby stallholders (other game grps of our church) other than that im always busy. prob the only thing that kept me going was the foosball table itself - one chance in a lifetime to train for free. hehe.

yeah by the time the carnival ended around 4pm we were like soo wear out already. spent another hour cleaning the area, somewhat like beach cleaning lol. and then had to send the foosball and ping pong tables back.

thats something i kinda regretted. why? next post.. ;)

i dont share what ive shared here even with my church friends, let alone my school friends. like u know them, everytime something is said, a very suan reply shoots back. sometimes when i reveal the true emo me, but they thought i wasnt quite the usual me. no use arguing, i might as well bottle it up. what would they know? NOTHING. all they do is to lame around. i mean, its very hard to pour out the sorrows, for they're forever making joke out of everything. i doubt they could really understand how i feel, although their mouth says so. its easier to follow through what we always do than finding out new things like tellin out and being mocked. nobody likes that feeling.

as the pastor onced quoted frm the bible, "if u love god, u must first love your brothers."

does the 'love' only meant laming around together? no. jus as having a girlfriend or a boyfriend, if u love him/her, u must first understand him/her first. likewise, if you dont understand me in the first place, there wont be any 'love' between us. everybody would be at the shallow 'friend friend' relationship level, where we only get together to chat about WoW, dota, maple, etc. well i dun force people anyway if thats what they are, let them be.

ive tried to 'love my brothers" before, and im still doin it now. like whomever my friends need help, i would always try to help them whenever, however i can. u can vouch me for that right? lol. but the real question is, how many of them really treated me as a true brother? even my small bro dun really treat me as his older brother. so its kinda hard to like him. (hey im still trying. my own bro afterall lol). but really, the old things gotta make way for new stuffs - if u could even move it..

and then i turned my attention to that 'ohh-so-special' girl. to 'love yur bros' not jus meant only brother brother right? sometime i feel.. arrgghhh!! soo hard to interact with her. i do not know how is she really, but i feel that shes almost similiar to me, where she also bottle things up and spends time only with her best friend, like i always spent time with Ray (RIGHT THATS YOU) and only he knows me like my mum, inside and out.

and to my school friends. there are even people who walk pass me and didnt realized i exist in the first place. that hurts. its like i wanna greet you and u just pretend im a spirit u cant see me and continue wad you're doing. pretty sad.. i hate my life.. even until now..

haaizz.. wad to do? continue to exist loh sian..

i remember an inccident during my last primary sch years. at one time i used to go downstairs coffeeshop buy lunch for my mum every saturday, and i would always patronize the same stall. that day, there were two ladies serving, with quite a long queue beside. one was a tall young lady much older than me, the other was the mother. the younger lady wore a rather revealing clothes back then.

waitin to be serve was rather boring at that time for me. there isnt anything to do while the long wait except to see what others were doing loh. so coincidentally i was lookin at the direction of that young lady, she was scooping rice unto the plate. but i got an unexpected response frm her. she was so pissed that i was lookin in her direction that she actually scolded me - in front of the others who were queueing before and after me. being scolded infront of others was really embarassing for me.

it was kinda like a small turning point for me. i had developed a phobia of not looking at my female friends.. sometimes i feel remorse about it. whenever i looked at girls, which any other normal guys would do, i always get a feeling that i will slapped at the face by them. moreover there were other factors that made me cant really express myself infront of others. pretty much a psycological barrier huh.. but of course im straight like any other guys lah!

and then i remembered when i was sec3 one of my schoolmate was acutally started dating another girl already.. it was at that point that made me wonder: is that the right time for romance in todays modern society?

after i graduated, i went to NAFA over at waterloo street, near bugis. between my school and bugis mrt station there is a stretch of road i had to walk pass. everyday when i walk pass that junction, i see many couples about my age, or even younger, holding hands while strolling together. often i ponder the same question as ive always wondered whenever i walked by: when will my turn come?

i remember a period of time when i was a pesky brat in church.. infamous young child heh.. like i said, for some reasons, i make fun of the songs we sang, i talked and laughed when we pray, i ran away when its time for our sunday school class. there were 1 or 2 others similiar of me, but not as pai kia as me haha.

then my big aunt came to our church with my cousin. from then on, we were damn brother. we get into trouble together, we laugh together, we lame together. well, u know wad i meant. ;)

but his mum didnt like me. in fact i could tell she really hated me then. why? . everytime we go m'sia togeter (as 2 families) i havta stay in my 2nd aunts home(somewhere in the countryside and theres nth to do there), not my small uncles home, where theres my 4 younger female cousins, i can play all day long. and then my 'brother' gets to stay there. SO BIAS. well that sucks, always she the one making all the woah-so-big decisions.

anyway, i went on being the rowdy me until my PSLEs. laming around and treating the world as a joke. until one day, my big aunt really think ive become real hopeless. everyime compares me with her son - academic results. im not as good as my cousin academically loh.. and she thinks i cannot become the guai kia liao.. beyond redemtion.. lol.

well actually that WAS my turning point. so i prayed to the lord, "Lord, i wanna be a better person. help me get good results. so that my big aunt wont despise me."

hey he really does miricles man. until ive reach sec1, somehow i become guai kia. i didnt do any funny things in my new environment in church. probably because someone treated me as an adult; "be nice to me, i'll be nice to u" kinda stuff.

but not only i became guai kia - ive also became a rather shy person. why? because back then i also despise my old self and i didnt know what other people would think of me then.

my lame-power kinda greatly reduce, or probably the aura has passed to my 'brother' lol. its like i suddenly dunno when to joke, and im serious most of the time. but of course behind the scenes i do joke abit lol.

until now, i dont really know how to express myself. and my church people aways (i repeat AWAYS) overlooked what i had to say concerning a particular matter. and im always one of those who could give the best advises (its my main traits).

it hurts alot. people shone away from me as if i got diseases or someting. i dont know who are my real friends even when im in church. and they always come to me ONLY when they need my help. but has anyone ever asked about my day or how i am now? NO. i add people on msn. and people add my contact to thiers. i wonder whats the point of keeping mine. i mean, im always the one engaging converstations, not like any other people who feels like talking to me. i have 50 over contacts but none of them talked to me (including my church friends). i feel bored and lonely. my computer is the only thing that keeps me going. i may go mad soon.

because of this reason ive gone alot quieter during my upper sec years and until now. heck this. i always feel jealous about other peoples blog, where their freinds do reply on the chatbox. but when i tell mine to my friends, none. NONE of them reply. for 11 months (thats why i deleted my old blog and created something different). is it because of me? they hated me? i wonder...

nobody wants to share with me; ive yet to find my real friends yet.. people come, people go. they know my existent but they refuse find about me.

this is the real me. ive autally wept secretly because of these problems. if uve even bother to read this, i really appriciate your time. but i dont need yur sympathy. none gave me the care and concern i need away. why shld you?

once when i was in my first year in my primary school, there's this particular girl with specs in my class. with one look at her i thought to myself: nah, she'll grow up to be another nerd i know.. if i could stil remember vividly, her mum came to our church when we were about primary 3 or 4. and so, she was im my sunday school class, along with her best friend, another girl of course.

i was really a spoiled brat then. haha terrible me - making fun of everything, runing around in church, escaping from reading the 'golden verses' which i at that time hate to memorise; basically making a fool of myself and making people laugh (i shall write about it some other time)...

anyway, after a year or so, she didnt come to church. neither did her friend came. we sorta like lost contact for a very long period of time. i guess she and her friend must've really hated me then.. hahaz. anyway, i didnt care much less anyway i went on 'merry making' and 'pontaning churh'. life goes on.

of course, i matured alot over the year. when i was around sec 2 or 3, my church pastor, slvester, somehow asked her, that same girl that left the church years ago, to come back again.

when i met her again, at first i couldnt recognise her as the same person i knew before. i was astonished. she, a totally different person; from a nerd i thought she'd grew up to be, to a really really really beautiful girl. extreme makeover huh. she doesnt wear glasses now lol.

she has now changed my mindset. i wanna get close to her, i wanna know her more.
but as u know lah~ im rather a shy person now lol. i dont really know how to express myself infront of people, im more comfortable expressing over the msn where people wouldnt see me. sadly whenever i tied to engage a converstation with her over the msn, she doesnt seem interested in replying me. i dont mind really, probably because she has alot of work to do.

recently, i asked her if she's ready to do things for the lord. and she told me her problems instead. now putting love aside, i'd wish to help her to regain her faith back, so that she would get her friend back to the lord. but the problem is that i dont know how and where to start helping her. what i fear now is that the more i try to help her, the more she will try to avoid me by all means. of course, i wouldnt want that to happen. and everytime i chat with her, i get the feeling that she is tryin to avoid me. if i had did something wrong to her before, id rather take the chance to say apologise to her here, and now. (u know me.. lol)

the pastor once said," one man, one fish"
i thought to myself: if an escaped fish is caught again, is it still considered as one man one fish?

i hope one day, she would regain her faith, and be able to catch a fish. =)

My Family Tree.

i have a huge famliy tree. i remember once my mum told me, i had 2 paternal grandad, 2 grandma, 2 maternal grandfather and 3 grandmother. with a family tree that huge comes with a very long story. interesting huh..

okay, heres the breakdown. my true maternal grandfrather came from china and settled down in malaysia with his wife (1st grandma). i have never met her before - she passed away waay before my mum was born. then he remarried another woman - my 2nd grandma. he also had a brother who now settled in taiwan (i also never met before i think only my big aunt met)

according to my mother, my second grandma gave birth to 4 daugthers and 5 brothers (i think). and my mum, being the 3rd daughter. so you're probably wondering, where the 3rd grandma came from. back then, my true grandma had a sister who had married to another man (2nd maternal grandpa) and has settled in another part of malaysia, had not as much children as her older sister. so my true grandma, being the older sister gave her 3rd daughter (thats my mum) to her younger sister.

now back to the 4 daughters 5 brothers. of course, the 4 daughter are my aunts - big aunt, 2nd aunt, my mum, and small aunt.

my big aunt, who accompanied my mother to singapore to work, now has a son, who i am proud to say, is now in my church. we're cousin afterall heh.. not many people knew that theres a connection between us.
my 2nd aunt, who now works as a tools & material supplier, has 2 sons and 2 daughters (all older than me). i could tell you, that her home is like a country-side and the home space is about 2.5 soccer fields big and my family goes to her house whenever we visit our relatives.
my last aunt, has 4 daugthers. all younger than me and lives in JB.

and then to the 5 brothers who are now my uncles. actually im not really close with my uncles, so i can only relate my expirences with my uncles.
another uncle of mine (the oldest i guess) passed away few years ago.
one of my uncle, lives in a seclusive mansion-sort of house. 3 stories high, with 10+ rooms.
yet another uncle whom is still a bachelor, i not close to him so i dunno wad to say about it.
another uncle whom i am the closest to (i think is the youngest) has 4 daughters. all younger than me. the oldest one whom in my opinion, is quite pretty. the rest are like little buggers.. lol

so up to now, i have 13 cousins from my true grandma side. this is only a quarter of the story. now, to my 3rd grandmother. she has 3 daughters (including my mum), and 1 son (i think).im not really clsoe to them but we do visit them sometimes. and then, the 3 daughters are the next set of my aunts.

my 2nd big aunt whom also came to singapore to work, now has a daughter. two of them are happly living somewhere in tampines lol.
my 2nd small aunt, has 2 daughters. much younger than me.
and then my uncle, has a son and a daughter. theyve got singapore PR and the sons gonna serve NS soon.

so on my 2nd grandma side i have 5 cousins. that adds up to 18 cousin. of course i do have other relatives (who are elders of my mother) and other cousins. another two, whom ive met, and pherhaps more, i dont know.



okay, half story told. now, to my parternal side.
according to my mum, my 2 paternal grandmothers were sisters, as well. they both married to different man. and my paternal grandfathers, ive never seen them as well.
the older sister is my true grandmother. she had 4 duaghters, and 1 son (thats my dad alright ;) ). again, the 4 duaghters are my aunts. all of them are still livin somewhere in singapore, not gonna tell you.

my big aunt, has 2 sons and a younger daughter. all older than me of course.
my 2nd aunt, childess and still livin in a couples world i guess.. lol
my 3rd aunt, 2 daughters. shes the one my dad's the closest with.
my 4th aunt whom also livin in tampinese and attends the same church, yet the least closest of all my aunts. she has 2 working sons.

my true grandma passed away when i was very young. while my 2nd grandma, childess i think. so on my paternal side, i have 7 cousins there. and also of course, i have other 3 cousins whom i rarely meet. and prob other cousins whom i never knew exists.

so now, i have 30 cousins i know on both sides. and now for the fourth part.

i myself first reached the 'uncle' rank when im around 13 years old. thats when one of my older cousins had thier first child. talk about being old when yur young lol.. so there u have it, my family tree.

Serene Memories

I love my blog.
I update as and when i like.
Entries that doesnt have titles.
Entries that doesnt have pictures.
From my childhood to my schooling life.
Secrets i never told.
Dreams i never shared.
Things that i did in the past.
Be it good,
Be it bad.
I pen what i can remember.
My expirences. my thoughts. my desire.
But never will it be in chronological order.
If only you keep it between ourselves.

And then my story begins with my family tree..