A Regular in the army once told me this, about a certain mega church in Singapore: "there is bound to have a lot of hypocrites in the church. At least I can still use rank in the army."
He was a master sergeant.
He's damn right. Many times I felt the same way too. But I think that is just not the worth to sacrifice 20 years of friends for one bloody criticism.
The thing is, we cannot please everyone. I have tried it many times before, and failed.
I often deal with the same issues, when i was younger. I guess it was common for everyone in certain part of their growth. As for me, it took me many episodes before I began to understand what it takes to love an enemy. I have to be the change myself first. To reflect on my own actions that may have caused hurt in others, I may not be aware of. Or perhaps i did not handle correctly. That is, to be sensitive to others, other than my circle of friends.
I liked a phrase from Naturo Manga:
Its not that if you become a Hokage (leader) everyone will acknowledge you.
It is the ones that are acknowledged that can become Hokage (leader)
I believe that if I were the first, a Changed person in Character, whatever people have said are just accusations of the past. I dont have to pay too much attention to it. Naturally, they will come to realize it. But of course, to be able to clear an misunderstanding maturely would be the fastest way to solve the problem. Speaking with experience trains one to be tactful in words, to be able to handle sensitive issues with care.
I realized that to solve a situation requires both parties to communicate properly. It takes a lot of courage for an initiator to be humble, to be the one to initiate an apology, regardless right or wrong. It definitely hurts. But if the latter does not even want to communicate, then there is nothing more you can do as the other party is not willing. Thats just being immature and deserves to be council-ed..
To be able to use that same "love & concern for your friends" to someone that didn't like you/you don't like, that's a beautiful achievement.
In all things that you do, touch your heart and do it righteously. People wont find fault.
but when you go astray without knowing, the Shepard has the responsible to drag you back whether you like it or not.
Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
Colossians 3:9-10 NIV
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what Gods will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2 NIV
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