alot has happened during the last to weeks, be it in church or in school. such as gainin new friends.
but more of them are jus something that i wanna cry out loud in despair.

i like friday because weekends coming.
saturday is a lonely day for me.
i dread sunday, because mondays coming.

prob thats how i live my days for now..

that sunday, a couple of church friends wanted to watch the new harry potter movie, but they nvr joo me.. of course they didnt know i havnt watch it yet, but did it came to their mind that the first thing before watching a movie is to reach out to the other ppl around them and ask, "hey, we're goona watch this movie , wanna join us?"

the next weekend; someones celebrating his birthday. ben was there. ray was there. matt was there too. so were his whole class (or so i heard). all but me. why was everyone invited but me? as good friends, i thought at least they would've thought about me and tell me.. and i was alone to spend the that saturday, waiting for matt and kaki to get online and 'fellowship'.

oh, but they didnt know how long i waited. ive been staring at the comp, waiting for people to get online since 3pm till 2am. but no one was there. i saw joyce, matts sis was online till late. i wanted to ask her bout her bro. i guess he went out the whole day and must be sleeping already.
i didnt. its like sayin 'hi' to her and asking something else that isnt related to her, kinda rude huh.. i only knew about the celebraion the next day when matt told me about it.

what are my thoughts?
werent they my only group of good friends, and still are?
who wouldnt invite his best friends to the party?

maybe i wasnt a good friend enuf (to him).
or maybe he didnt really regard me as some of his good friends.

why, people said i had to open myself up. truly, i did tried. but i dont think the prob lies with self. id rather think the problem really lies in the people around me. as in they themselves didnt really open up to me. at least thats how i feel. u might think its a trivia matter. but im just as sensitive as a comp mouse.

well, whatever the reason is, think about it more only makes me more depress.. zZz..