Looking back, many things had happened in the last month, stretching my limits, juggling work, with weekend driving lessons and my part time job, with Church stuffs and not forgetting my neopets guild stuff. it is a real challenge, to juggle all these and suddenly a last minute job to somehow make the song slides magically appear. it has been a series of blows to me, lately.

I didnt really think anyone would much appreciate me, much less on my birthday, and it really turned out I had anticipated. Ive only been approached for my "usefulness", none has gone beyond that and asked about my well being. They must become more, I must become less. Truly, my time is up.

Application of Uni has closed. Ive successfully submitted an application for an Art Design Media Course in NTU. The only thing that drives me into that course is that degree in photography.

In the ordeal of preparing my portfolio, I had been quite stressful in producing quality works in my best ability and meeting the deadline submission; for I had not drawn for the two years in my NS. I am prepared to look into overseas studies, should there be a need to.

M'sian Cousins visiting us on the lunar new year week, not a good time for me because of work. still, Ive to be a good host to them. IT had been a good time. but the sad thing is, I lost my phone somewhere when I was dead tired accompanying them. I did not think it would happen to me and I regret not having a tracking app onto my device. Now Im in need of a replacement, and I do not have everyones contacts. This lesson is too costly for me to bear, one that will echo within me for quite a while.

Valentines day is not a day for me to remember. When I see a couple, I do get envious, yet feel so insignificant. When I tried to approach a girl, she would step back and avoid me. My experience has always been like this. Recently I kinda like a girl more than ever. someone from church, and Ive been dreaming more of her lately. That piece of secret I have guarded so fiercely from everyone else, for a long time. A topic i would try to avoid at all cost.

yet somehow i think it is wrong, and I have been trying to suppress that feeling. and its getting harder. 这辈子可能不结婚了。 I'll probably fill myself up with more work and driving lessons to prevent any necessary misunderstandings. yet they still want me to attend that seminar...