FoP was nice. delirious was good. but i liked the way they put the subtitles more than the band sang. well, at least i think that tis years FoP was better than last years as n overall performance. and we had more ppl to join us for FoP, which was great.

after the concert ended something happened.
the group of us took a bus back to tampines int.
someone told me to move all the way to the back, and i stupidly did. and where were they? at the front.
trying to isolate me ah?

the journey was long. had nobody to talk to. so i went up to the top deck.
soon some of them came up.
everyone sat with each other, and began chatting. but of all things, no one sat with me.

i purposely put my bag onto my lap, hoping at least a friend would come by and sit with me. and there opposite me the two friends were chatting. at least for the half an hour of the journey..
everyone had someone to talk to, i noticed that. and me? being at the lower deck is no different than being at the top deck; why am i always being isolated?

i was soo sensitive about it, i thought about it thru out the journey. and then i couldnt stand it any longer. i got off the bus before them and went home straight.

i seriously think the prob doesnt lies with me. its THEM who doesnt wanna chat with me. why? sit with me also nth to chat? why do i always have to be the first to engage a converstation? i feel more delighted when people ask me something, and the ball kept going.

i feel very vexed about it at that moment. for some reaso i suddenly couldnt resist going to the beach, scream at the top of my lungs, or give me something that i could vent my anger on.

i dont wanna talk to people.most probably no one will also alk to me. i didnt wanna go church after that. at least for that short period.


everyime after church i would always wait for them to finish their jammin or song practice and that they will go out eat or something. i look very stupid, in the sense that i have nothing to do, and im waiting for them to finish?

i got a msg related to all youth worship team ppl. at that instant i felt angry about it. im not part of them worship team and why has been sent to me? its like: although im not part of the worship team in any way(cant sing, cant play instru), but i HAVE to stay and loiter around, waitin for them to finish?

i didnt want to go church now. but as im typing, something made me feel that i shld still be with them, no matter wad.